2:56
my palms were all sweaty and i had this indescribable knot in my tummy–everything i felt at that moment was way all too familiar…
i’ll be seeing him again.
this time not for breakfast.
nor for dinner.
just coffee.
coffee and nothing would follow.
just coffee and business.
i felt no need to fix my hair or show up looking great–i’d be seeing him not because but just because.
when i got off the van i felt giddy.
what would i do? say?
how would i feel?
all those questions vanished the moment i laid eyes on him again.
he gained weight.
he was typing away when i approached him. he has company.
he rose from his seat and smiled. i beamed.
then he did what i thought he wouldn’t.
he leaned over to kiss me on the cheeek.
i kissed back.
his companion eyed us with interest.
he introduced us.
and we started talking about what i came to see him for.
strictly business.
and oh, phones.
he then asked me what i want for a drink.
i said, ‘the usual’.’
he knew i’d go for a frap.
‘mocha,’ i quipped when i saw the question in his eyes.
he handed me the drink, peeled off the straw wrap and smiled.
i wondered what he thought of at that very moment.
he started discussing what ought to be discussed and in between phone calls, emails and frequent exchanges with his companion we got through the meeting in a breeze.
then it was time to leave.
we walked to the cab lane. they’re going somewhere for another meeting. i’ve to go back to the office.
‘he looked up at the construction site in front of us and of the blue he asked, ‘you’re agnostic di ba?’
i smiled and said ‘not naman agnostic…’
then he gave me that all too familiar side glance that made me weak on my knees.
‘i know, you’re just a free-thinker.’
and before i could reply he motioned me to the cab and said, ‘yan na, for you na ‘yan.’
no, he didn’t even bother to open the car for me.
and that’s when i knew–whatever it was, it’s gone.
done.
over.
i didn’t look back when my cab sped away.
i wanted to, but i knew i shouldn’t.
because i know his gaze would be somewhere else when i do.
