priceless

the warmth of their touch…

the twinkle in their eyes…

the glee in their smiles…

priceless.

to everyone who have extended their help in making the outreach at B.A.T.A. Foundation possible, thank you all so much.

there’s no need for me to say your names out loud–you know who you are.

post xmas kilig

sue me.

yes, he still makes my heart skip a beat.

years after i had fallen for him.

years after i’ve gotten over him.

he still has the same effect on me.

no, i’m not talking about sean chambers.

i’m talking about…

today, i realized that assumption truly is the mother of all fuck-ups.

***

the outreach is on saturday but we’re still trying to figure out where to get the funds from.

everyone is hard up on cash and us four–me, mimay, elea and tina are contributing in kind.  only gem will donate moolah.

and oh, benedick too–if he confirms tonight.

mr. kiss will most probably help us out too–no pressure though.  his presence will be enough.

***

paul’s baby is still in need.

my heart bleeds each time he texts me.

if only i could do more to help him.

***

when i ask people for help, i don’t normally expect them to lend a hand.

when i ask people for help and they say they’re willing to do so, i often believe them.

when i ask people for help and they say they’d help but eventually end up not doing so, i feel hurt.

when i ask people for help and they say they’d help but change their minds, i feel sorry for them.

i’ve no idea just how many of you reads this blog.  most of the time the entries i post are nonsense–i just rant about stuff, or talk about cryptic things or whine about whatever catches my ire–which is why i don’t really think anyone would care to read my thoughts. 

this time however, i am hoping that people will take time to read what i am posting.  this isn’t about a new guy i’m eyeing nor another fight i waged against habi nor a new stuff i fancy nor another bitchy encounter with someone.

this is about my friend paul’s daughter, isabella.

please read on.

and HELP if you have the capacity to do so.

Hello everyone, my name is John paul mirabueno and my baby needs help.

isabella margarita mirabueno was born Oct. 2,2007 She came to this world prematurely,only weighing 3lbs or 1.4 kilograms. whe was born with multiple congenital anomalies such as a congenital heart disease and a polycystic left kidney.

Isabella is born with Teralogy of fallot with PDA or TOF.Her heart has a big hole and her pulmonary artery is blocked or too narrow which led to her being "cyanotic" she turns blue due to the lack of oxygen curculating her systen thus the term "blue baby"

last Nov. 18 she is admitted to Philippine heart center because she had an "episode".Based on tests done on her,it was found out that her pulmonary artery is "closing" and an emergency procedure needs to be aministered the soonest possible time.

Isabella needs to undergo a surgery called BTS Shunt,where a very small tube called a "goretex" needs to be placed where oxygen can pass.

On Nov. 21,2007,she went under the knife.During the first 24hrs in the recovery room,she was responding very well,as a matter of fact,she was exyubated from using a respirator right away and we were informed by our doctors that she may not need to go to the ICU anymore and go directly to regular room for a full recovery.

Unfortunatley,there was no room available at that time so she needs to make a stop on the ICU.that’s where all the complications started.

The unavailability of a room came as a blessing in disguise otherwise,she could not have made it if she stayed in a regular room.

At barely 2 months,isabella went through a lot of complications which led to one infection after another.her lungs were flooded with fluids and her kidneys stopped working.the leve of toxins in her body went high than normal and there is no way theese toxins can get out of her system beause she couldnt urinate.the doctors have no choice but to administer dialysis on her.

Isabella is not your average baby she is a fighter ans she made it.after 20 days of stay in the ICU,she recovered and is well enough to transfer to a regular room.

On the 12th of Dec. 2007 she is ready to move to a regular room.

Unfortunately,the hospital wont allow her to move to a private room to recover fully because our credit status in the hospital is already suspended.no matter how our doctors explain to the hospital the need for my baby to stay in a regular room because her immune system is so low,she is too prone to infection,the hospital wont allow it unless we pay an amont of P290,000 out our running bill of P318,000 at the time. Me and my wife have no choice.

She moved to a semi private room shared with 2 other patients.

She is on her way to a full recovery and hopefully soon,she will be disgharged from the hospital.

We need financial help.

Me and my wife works as callcenter agents in the philippines.I am practically the only one working right now since my wife in on unpaid leave to take care of our little isabella.

Even if I have work,I simply couldnt afford all the hospital expenses.

I am appealiing to anyone with a kind heart for monetary donations of any amount so isabella can go home. I completely understand how difficult the times are right now,and i am not asking for too much,any amount will go a long,long way.

As of yesterday, Dec. 13,2007 our running bil is at P376,000 excluding the Professional fees of all the doctors which will not go lower than P150,000.

If only the doctors and the hospital will allow me to pay in an installment basis,I can afford it.the wage that me and my wife earns are decent enough for me to afford it.But of course,the hospital wont allow it.

I tried seeking help to many government institutions but i was refused help simply because I have a job.I couldnt even get a case study or an endorsement from social services and was told that "there are other people who are in need more" I understand.

Any amount can be deposited thorough Bank of philippine islands with account number: 0136 3457 41 with account name Princess brendia (my wife’s maiden name)
Or get in touch with us, John Paul Mirabueno with mobile number: 0916-2329786 or Princess Mirabueno with mobile number: 0927-2428084 or reach us both through our Landline number: (02) 408-3162
Anyone can also get in touch with my brother Jovan Mirabueno.

All information in this post are true and correct,if anyone wants to get info about the authenticity of Isabella’s case please contact Philippine heart center,east ave. quezon city telephone number: (02) 925-2401.

We are currently staying at a semi private room at the third floor of the main hospital building with room number C 334.
Her surgeon is Dr. Gisel Catalan and her Pedia Cardiologist is Dra. Juliet Balderas
Hoping for all of your kindest consideration and may the almight God bless your heart.

Attached are pictures of my baby,isabella margarita mirabueno.
Unfortunately,I couldnt get a picture of her stay in the ICU because the hospital wont allow it.
Dates on the pictures will indicate picutres of isabella prior to the surgery and after the surgery.

One last thing, isabella will go through another surgery after a year,this time to finally correct the structure of her heart and to fix the large hole.According to her surgeon,that will be her final surgery and if the surgery turns out to be a success,she can live a normal life just like any one else.
The Next surgery is a major one that will require an open heart surgery and of course more expensive.I am planning to go overseas so I can afford it,if there are any job offer out there, I am willing to do anything. just contact the same contact info above.

Thank you so much for taking your time iout to read this.
sincerly,
John Paul Mirabueno

–
John Paul Mirabueno
Support Analyst
AT&T Yahoo Internet Services
Accenture project
Teletech Customer Care Management Phils.Inc.
Bldg. F SM corporate Offices, 1000 Bay blvd.
SM Central Business Park, Bay City
Pasay City Metro Manila Philippines
+639162329786
jpmirabueno@gmail.com

the moth and the flame

the moth had excuses before, excuses that weren’t even good enough for herself to believe in.

she had been too close to the flame…too close for comfort.

she thought she was just close enough to be fairly sated but not too close to get scathed.

she was wrong.

she had been too close that the fire almost consumed her.

almost.

because her gumption to move away from the flame saved her from getting burned.

now the flame ignites anew.

the fire is too enticing…inviting…

luring the moth closer…

tempting her to touch its warmth…

resist, the moth must.

could she?

would she?

i just dunno.

joy & lei

i know it’s pretty early but i’d be busy in the coming days so i don’t wanna risk forgetting your birthdays–so, happy birthday lei and joy!

lei, i wish you’d have a healthy pregnancy–i couldn’t wait to have another sophie-niece! or nephew or whatever it is in your tummy! don’t worry girl, everything will be alright.  on days that i couldn’t reply to you on ym, just keep sending me messages–i get to read them and i promise i’ll find a way to reply to you when i get the chance.  i miss you already.  stay strong and relish your marital bliss!

to joy–here’s another memory i forgot to write on my previous entry.  remember when you had dengue and we all came to visit you in the hospital (the one near sm centerpoint)?  we went there without bringing you anything–no fruits, bread or whatever–and guess what? nakikain pa kami! hahaha!  and of course, how could we forget how we made kulit mr. rilveria to allow you and rana to join us in st. peter after we’ve learned that you guys were shipped to st. benedict? memories!  happy birthday, girl!  if those two incidents (forget about the nakikain part) weren’t proof enough of how much we care and value you as a friend, i dunno what is. :)  we haven’t seen you in a while but i’d like you to know that the friendship remains. we still love you and we miss you.  i wish you everything your heart desires.

so–to the two brave and beautiful ladies who have enriched my life in many ways, thank you for the friendship. i love you both.

happy, happy birthday!

why women cheat

got this from one of my favorite sites:

why do women cheat?

For a start, harsh as this may sound to men, it takes a LOT for a woman to cheat. Much like how most women have more of an emotional journey about the act of sex, it’s quite a leap for most women to go from faithful to cheating and creeping. A woman needs to be really pissed off, disillusioned, and fed up before she will open up shop for another man. It’s very rarely purely about the sex, his appearance, or sexual attraction and when she cheats it’s combined with how the experience and the man make her feel about herself, which is clearly a damn sight better than her husband/boyfriend makes her feel.

Cheating for women is all tied up in:

1) Self-esteem – Validation of themselves, feeling better than they feel.

2) Feeling neglected and underappreciated.

3) Revenge.

Women are far more likely to get drawn into emotional cheating first before there is ever any sex involved.

joy

i’m not a big fun of pressed powder.

i’m a loose powder baby.

alright, baby powder is more like it.

johnson’s to be exact.

for one thing, i’ve ultra-sensitive skin so i hardly use adult cosmetics.  in fact, i couldn’t wear make-up that much because my skin goes ballistic when i do.

and of course, there’s another reason i’ve stuck with johnson’s through the years.

joy estrada.

she introduced me to the concept of ‘powder-fresh beauty.’

johnson’s baby powder before class, in between periods, during recess, lunch, after class, while sight-seeing (i miss this term!), during CAT sessions, while cheering for the falcons, while ogling at denden, lops, rum, tuesday and all the other guys we used to have the hots for, while having cheesesticks at the canteen, just before going home…name the even and in all likelihood, we have baby-powdered our way through it!

but honestly speaking, this post isn’t about my johnson’s baby powder moments with joy.

it’s about how i miss the friendship.

how i long for the day when we, the sophies, could all spend time with her again to rekindle the past–laugh about our little shenanigans, giggle about the boys who have once-upon-a-time made out hearts flutter, talk shit about those who have torn our hearts to pieces (michol, de vera, lops, lops, lops! hahaha!) and speak wickedly about our karis! 

kidding aside, i miss joy’s company.  the way we used to talk about life, love and our dreams…about people we care deeply about, about things we want to do, stuff we want to buy…

we have lost touch for years and the last time we touched base again it ended quite ugly so i hope that one day we’ll get to see each other again and cath up on each other’s life.

i miss you, joy.

wishful thinking

this time this isn’t about some guy i fancy or a new mobile phone i’ve been obsessing about. 

this time it isn’t about some place i’ve been longing to go to or some food i’ve been craving so much for.

this time i’m wishing i have millions.

NOT because i’d like to buy myself a handsome SUV.

NOT because i’d like to afford a posh condo unit.

NOT because i’d like to acquire a property i’ve been eyeing for so long.

NOT because i’d like to live in the lap of luxury.

but BECAUSE my heart is bleeding for people close to me who are in dire need of help–financially…

paul whose baby belle was born premature and with a congenital heart disease.  his 2-month-old little angel has been confined to the icu of the phil. heart center for over a month now…

a friend whose sister has suddenly been admitted to a psych facility…

loren’s friend whose dad badly needs surgery for prostate cancer…

aloha whose philandering husband has left her and her two beautiful children without food on the table…

and countless other souls who are struggling to make ends meet, suffering in silence as they pray that their ailing relatives be at least given a reprieve…

i wish i could  help them all.

i wish i’ve more than enough money so i could share it with them.

sadly though, i don’t have much.

that’s why i feel powerless and helpless as well.

so i guess i just have to pray harder for them…

after all, prayers DO seem to work.