sun shots, maniacs and my erratic finger

while typing this i’m munching my new fave–sun shots super sour cream and onion! i swear i can consume a dozen of these in a jiffy! god bless Lay’s! i’m not big on snacks but this one really got me.  every tiny bit is bursting with flavor! screw my ‘diet’–i’ll die munching on sun shots!

@)———–

why do some guys look at women with an ‘i wanna devour you’ look on their faces while their eyes are burning with lust?!  i mean–okay, sometimes i guess some women tend to really attract attention–but please spare me!  save that look for those who wear clothes that leave nothing to the imagination!  or women with supersized boobies and whistle-bait figure who simply love being ogled at–but please, not me!  i have super downsized tits, an ultra-tiny butt, a waist as wide as my hips and a humongous tummy all bottled up in a pint-sized frame–NOTHING about me screams SEX!  nothing about me says sexy–physically!  i mean, i’d understand if a man would label me sexy if he has talked to me and engaged in a mental foreplay with me–but that’s a different story.

the man i’m talking about saw me yesterday in my office garb–white top + denims + kitten heeled sandals–with my disheveled hair!  and it didn’t stop him from devouring me in his thoughts! i swear i would have slapped him if only i didn’t chicken out when he ran his fingers on his crotch as he was looking at me with his tongue dangling out of his mouth like a sick dog! he must be a real loony! 

thank god habi’s fetching me later.

perhaps i should start wearing a mustache.

@)———– 

i was ranting about ^this to a friend through text when i got this:

‘wrong send! or u just wanna scream but can’t coz u’r afraid of waking up the neighbors?’

i was like, WTF?! who the hell did i send my message to?

so i replied–

‘gosh, sorry!’

then the recipient of my missent message texted back–

‘it’s okay.  no harm done.’

to which, i replied: ‘i just hope you’re a woman too.  otherwise i’m dead!  but if you’re a man, please do me a favor–refrain from doing that to any woman.  again, i’m sorry on behalf of my erratic finger.’

then the person i was texting with answered–‘haha! u’r a funny girl!  don’t worry, not all men are created equal.  for the record, i’m a guy!  i’m darwin’s friend, cool!’

that cracked me up!  what a small world!  i didn’t know my message got sent to one of habi’s friends!  it’s a good thing it wasn’t incriminating.

i forgot to ask him how he knew it was me he’s texting with. but it’s okay–i should be extra-careful next time.

 

random things

-an ex texted me last night. he’s getting married again! he got married a couple of years back, got divorced. got married again, got divorced.  now he’s tying the knot again. his first wife was fil-canadian. the second, canadian. now his new would-be-bride’s half-mexican, half-canadian. he certainly is the opposite of gamophobic. i hope things work out this time, dinds.

-my friend kami and her ex vince has finally agreed to meet and talk. at least kami will finally know the reason why he suddenly walked out of her life without even saying why. i’m keeping my fingers crossed vince will come clean this time.

-got this from someone: ‘’people ask me why i want to be with you.  i tell them, even though you have two tiny horns in your head and that irritating tail on your butt, you still manage to make me feel like i’m with an angel.’ i know, i know–it must be a forwarded message but heck, i’m a sucker for anything that cheesy! i dunno–but when i get messages like that from other people i normally cringe and say, ‘pa-cute! baduy’ but when it comes from him…will somebody shoot me please!

-don’t you just hate it when somebody asks for your number, tells you he’d call but he never does? it’s a major pet peeve! i know, i know–i shouldn’t even be thinking of giving out my number to anybody else because i’m already TAKEN but…

-i had McDo’s fillet-o-fish meal for lunch and i’m supposed to be full but the glutton in me is screaming ‘i want chocolates! i want pinsec! i want pizzaaaaaaaaaaaaa!’ which brings me into the result of an online quiz i took this morning:

How Sinful Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/howsinfulareyouquiz/

***Your Deadly Sins***

Gluttony: 60%

Envy: 40%

Greed: 40%

Pride: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Wrath: 20%

Lust: 0%

Chance You’ll Go to Hell: 34%

You’ll die choking on a cookie in bed.

hahaha! guilty–of gluttony perhaps!  no, i don’t think so! nah! pride–yes! sloth–uhmmm…a little, i guess! wrath–it depends. lust? hahaha! no comment! perhaps, i’ll have it this way:

Gluttony: 40%

Envy: 10%

Greed: 10%

Pride: 60%

Sloth: 25%

Wrath: 20%

Lust: 80%

hahaha! why not?  i lust for life! i lust for the excitement that my everyday (mis)adventures bring!

wala kokontra please!

my heart bleeds for marcus

i was just going over my favorite blogs when i found  this on one of unforgiving bitch’s blog links. 

this after i spent the other day in tears over the 10-year-old unsolved case of jonbenet ramsey…

what is going on in this world?

have people really become evil enough to kill innocent children?

i couldn’t for the life of me understand how anybody–and i mean anybody–bring him/herself to do such a vicious act. 

just the thought of it makes me shudder. 

it breaks my heart. 

it makes me want to scream and travel all the way to cincinnati and shoot marcus’ foster parents.

if they were so fed up with him–he’s autistic, he has a mind of an 18-month old–why didn’t they just return him to the agency that gave him to them?

why kill the poor boy?

marcus deserved to be loved more, to be nurtured well…to be taken care of…

not restrained inside a cabinet till he dies.

if only i were moneyed…if only i could take all the homeless and abused children to my care…

and if only i had a gun…

i’d be on a shooting spree.

first on my list would be jonbenet’s parents.

then marcus’ foster parents.

and all the susan smiths and andrea yates in this world…

but on second thought even if i had the best gun with the most potent bullet, i wouldn’t shoot them.

they’re not worth it.

they’re a bunch of filth.

they deserve to die, yes.

but i’d rather have them rot with their conscience rendering them unable to live without hearing the cries of these precious children ringing in their ears.

i pray that the world be rid of people like them.

lettin’ the quizzes define me :)

What Kind of Sexy Are You?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/whatkindofsexyareyouquiz/

***You Are Independent Sexy***

You drive men crazy with your "playing hard to get act"

Except, it’s really not an act at all.

You’re a strong, sexy woman with her own life and interests.

And that makes men even more interested in you!

@)——————-

Are You Ready To Get Married?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/areyoureadytogetmarriedquiz/

***You’re Almost Ready to Get Married, But Not Quite***

No doubt that you’ve warmed up to the idea of marriage and life long love

You just aren’t quite ready to follow up with your desires, yet.

You may be a bit young, or a bit commitment phobic… give it time.

Concentrate on guys who you can imagine being with next year. Forever can wait.

@)——————-

What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourmouthsayaboutyouquiz/

***What People Think of Your Mouth***

People see you as both seductive and intimidating.

Other women are especially put off by your womanly powers.

And men either fear you or obsess over you - sometimes both.

No way to fight it - you’re a natural vamp.

@)——————-

Do You Go For Brains or Body?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/doyougoforbrainsorbodyquiz/

***You Go For Brains!***

You want a guy with a big… brain.

And of course it would be nice if he were a total hottie, but you’re not counting on it.

What’s on the inside is what counts for you. (Besides, you can always change the outside later!)

@)——————-

Are You a Challenge?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/areyouachallengequiz/

***Men See You As: An Attainable Challenge***

You know how to make your man crave more of you

But you also know when to show some interest back

You’re good at keeping your guy guessing

And over time, you’ll let him know how you really feel

@)——————-

What Color Is Your Aura?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/whatcolorisyourauraquiz/

***Your Aura is Red***

Your Personality: Self-confident and stunning, you live in the now! You love life and experience all it has to offer.

You in Love: You’re a bit private and have trouble opening up. You need a secure guy who can deal with your independence.

Your Career: Your ideal job gives you a ton of control and concrete results. Consider being a chef, surgeon, or architect.

@)——————-

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/whatkindofchocolateareyouquiz/

***You are Milk Chocolate***

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.

You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.

Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment… even those from long ago.

@)——————-

How Daring Are You?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/howdaringareyouquiz/

***You Are a Fierce Femme***

You have a wild side, and you aren’t afraid to bring it out when the time is right.

But you also know when to hang back and keep your "crazy chick" persona in check.

In fact, some of your friends may be surprised to find out how far you can take it…

You may look mild mannered, but it’s all an act!

@)——————-

Do You Scare Off Men?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/doyouscareoffmenquiz/

***You Are 66% Scary***

Sorry to break it to you, but you’re a pretty scary chick.

Men don’t know what you’ll do or say next, and that freaks them out.

@)——————-

Are You a Drama Queen?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/areyouadramaqueenquiz/

***You are a No Drama Mama!***

No need for drama, you just chill out and don’t let things bother you

You’ve got a peaceful, zen-like attitude… even when things get crazy

You’re a pleasure to be around, and you have lots of friends to show for it

You don’t need to be the center of attention, you’re happy enough as is!

@)——————-

What’s Your Inner Eye Color?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/whatsyourinnereyecolorquiz/

***Your Inner Eye Color Is Brown***

You’re smart, thoughtful, and the ideal woman for most men

You are kind and easy to trust. Men open up to you like no one else.

It’s this inner warmness that attracts guys - and makes you an instant soulmate.

@)——————-

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/goodgirlfriendquiz/

***You are a Great Girlfriend***

When it comes to your guy, you’re very thoughtful

But you also haven’t stopped thinking of yourself

You’re the perfect blend of independent and caring

You’re a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

@)——————-

How Bitchy Are You?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/howbitchyareyouquiz/

***You Are 49% Bitchy***

Generally, you’re an average woman, with average moods. But sometimes… well, watch out!

Sometimes, you let your mean side get the better of you. And you enjoy every minute of it.

@)——————-

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/whatkindofcoffeeareyouquiz/

***You Are a Cappuccino***

You’re fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new.

However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like.

You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation.

You’re the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

@)——————-

How Much of a Flirt Are You?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/howmuchofaflirtareyouquiz/

***Your Flirt Quotient***

You are 53% Flirt

@)——————-

How Do Men See You?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/howdomenseeyouquiz/

***Men See You As Choosy***

Men notice you light years before you notice them

You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky

You aren’t looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter

It may take men a while to ask you out, but it’s worth the wait

@)——————-

What’s Your Kissing Style?

http://ynr.blogthings.com/kissingstylequiz/

***You Are an Intense Kisser***

When you kiss, it’s deep and powerful

You don’t take kissing lightly

Your kisses always have meaning

And they always make your head spin

7 Signs That Your Relationship Has Staying Power

got this from: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk

no. 1-check!

no. 2-check!

no. 3-check!

no. 4-check!

alright, alright!  i got only 6 out of the 7–big deal?  well, just don’t ask which one i failed to check.

1. It’s always a good start to have a partner that acknowledges that they are in a relationship with you. It is shocking how many women are in ‘relationships’ that are no more than being a Friday Night girl, booty-call or a f*ck buddy.

2. You feel good. Being in a relationship is not about having more drama than a soap opera. Good relationships make you feel good about yourself. Bad relationships have you feeling downright awful about things, often uncertain, yet you’re still there.

3. You’ve been introduced to their friends and family. Partners that keep you away from the important people in their lives don’t reek of being people that want to be in an out in the open, fulfilling relationship. Be suspicious when they keep you stashed away from those that matter.

4. You’re open to being loved, loving and to trusting and being trusted. No matter how much you want a person, if you can’t do these things or be these things, the relationship will flounder.

5. You can be yourself and they love you just the same. No fake stuff, no being uber nice because you think it will get you better results, no pretending. The act can only last so long anyway…

6. You’re not trying to change them or living off a projected image of them. Living off potential kills relationships and the quicker you live in reality is the quicker you start to either have a real relationship or get the hell out.

7. You have both feet in the relationship. Relationships don’t flourish when one foot is lingering outside whilst you figure if they or a relationship is what you want. Embrace it and enjoy!

je suis fâché…

parce que…

-my phone’s incredibly silent.  nobody’s texting. nobody’s calling. 

-last night i realized that habi doesn’t even care to read my work. (not my blog–my actual work!)

-two nights ago i got this: ‘why were you flirting with (insert guy’s name here)? you know that he and i are going out, you should have respected that.’

-the whole thing stemmed from this: that guy:  ’so, finally i get to meet the local carrie bradshaw. how do you do?’  me:  ‘oh, hello! are you mr. big?’

-i didn’t know that an innocent (read:  witty banter) with a guy your friend’s dating can be misinterpreted as ‘flirtation’

-somebody i would trust  with my life wouldn’t trust me with a fucking ‘project’

-somebody actually thought that habi isn’t trustworthy

-i realized i could never get to like queen bee–ever!

-somebody’s leaving for malaysia on september 4 and won’t be back till god knows when

-i ate rice last night–i couldn’t resist nanay’s adobo

-i’m doing nothing

the L word

no, this isn’t gonna be about love.

nor lust–i had that on my chiz entry–as an undertone.

alright–this is gonna be another rant post.

i’ve been craving for a little tête-à-tête with some ‘very special’ people for quite a while now–been desperately trying to get them to sit down with me over lunch so we could catch up on the goings-on in our respective lives.

they always can’t make it.

they’re busy.

i get that–because just as i am writing this, i got a text from lei asking me if i could make it to kuya’s wedding on saturday.  i asked for time–i have to have my sked fixed first before i could give her an answer.

that’s just how i am–i don’t say yes or no immediately–i always have to check if i have any prior commitment or if there’s something far more important that i have to attend to.

i’m always busy too.

but i know how to make time for people i care about.

and i don’t use being busy as an excuse. 

never.

when i tell you i couldn’t make it, that means i couldn’t make it. 

that means my hands are tied.

now, if i’m broke–i say it too.

’sorry, can’t go out with you guys–i’m broke.’

why exactly am i ranting?

because one of these ‘very special’ people is BSing me.

it sucks.

she throws at me all sorts of alibis. 

‘i have a meeting…’

‘i am broke…’

‘i am busy…’

BUT…

‘i have a meeting…a LUNCH meeting…client’s treat.’

‘i am broke…and i’m having lunch with a friend…it’s her treat.’

‘i am busy BUT if it’s gonna be your treat…’

there’s just something very wrong about it.

this, i can take: ‘lunch tayo, libre mo naman ako.’

i do that too. 

ask celso.

ask loren.

ask ma.

and yeah, ask one of those ‘very special’ people.

but when i get a ‘di pwede, la ko pera, KKB!’

i still have lunch with the person.

but NEVER this:  ‘kung di mo ko libre, wag na!  dito na lang libre pa!’

you could say, ‘wag na, pareho tayo wala pera.  next time na lang/

i get that from ma all the time.  and i still love her.

sure, i can spend some money–just how much is a decent lunch anyway? 

but i won’t dangle free lunch just to get someone to eat with me.

if a friend wants me over for lunch because she needs me to be there for her, i’ll be there.

except when i’m really busy. or sometimes when i’m too lazy to brave the heat. or when i have my usual topak.

if you want to have lunch with me and i’m broke, i could just sit down with you and devour your words.

sometimes, when we ask a friend to go out to lunch with us, it’s not because we fancy a plate of pasta–it’s because we crave for their company.

some people just don’t get that.

sino pwede manlibre sa akin ngayon?

i made love with chiz!

when i opened my eyes this morning i couldn’t believe what and who i dreamt of.

chiz escudero.

yeah!

i was like, ‘why chiz?’

alright–i like him!

he along with mike defensor and okay, sue me–lt. sg. antonio trillanes.

they’re what my captain calls ‘a bunch of spoiled blabbermouth brats’.

c’mon they’re hot!

alright–i like chiz because he’s the only person who can actually make me listen to GMA-bashing–not that i’m pro GMA but…

there’s something about his being monotonous.

and oh, i like it that the master’s bathroom in his house doesn’t have a door.

it’s just sexy.

so how exactly did my dream go?

blah.

chiz and i were in bed!

hehehe!

yeah–literally in bed. picture the not-doing-anything-just-busy-cuddling-in-bed scenario.

under the covers.

i assume we did something my dream didn’t expound on.

i’m sure of that.

why?

i woke up lying on my front–i couldn’t move my right leg.

it took me about three minutes before i was able to get up.

it was excruciating.

i wonder what chiz did to me.

==============

somebody texted this when i told him of my bedscene with chiz:

‘chiz? and you told me i look like mike defensor?!’

well…

i’m having mike tonight, i guess.

sunshine from tampa

i left the house with mist in my eyes. 

i came to work with eyes puffy.

i blogged.  read blogs.  then blogged again.

in between sobs i emailed my bext guyfriend–poured my heart out.

after two hours i got an IM.

a huge grin.

to which, i replied:

blue_cynic20: im not in the mood

he was caught off-guard.  so, he said–

ces: fine bye

we went on chatting just the same.

blue_cynic20: did u read

ur

email?
ces: no
blue_cynic20: read it
ces: I’m sorry
ces: but there is always a reason behind the things that we do or say
ces: why don’t u talk to________?                     

blue_cynic20: some things are better left unsaid

he went yadayadayada. 

sugarcoating as usual. trying hard to make me feel better. 

but i just won’t listen.  that’s the thing with me–when i’m upset,                                     

i’m upset. 

nothing can make feel better unless i decide to snap out of my blues myself. 

he was persistent.

blue_cynic20: i wish i could get rid of my puffy eyes. i’m done crying
ces: put some ice on them
ces: would u like me to strip dance for u?

THIS CRACKED ME UP.

ces:
ces:
ces: :O

that’s what friends do, i guess.

blue_cynic20:  thanks for trying to make me feel better
ces: u r just being negative
blue_cynic20: that’s what i do best, right?
ces: yes indeed
ces: but we still love u
ces:

awww!

blue_cynic20: i’d like the stripping bit better
ces:
ces: bayad muna
blue_cynic20: :)                                                            

ces:  cheer up ! Everything is gonna b just fine
blue_cynic20:  i know–i’m just having the usual blues

i heart my friend.

he used to hold guns, yet he knows how to melt hearts.

confessions of an eternal drama queen

been crying since saturday.

was crying last night.

was crying on my way to work.

was crying before i decided to blog my blues away.

nothing–i just felt my eyes need some cleaning.

the perfect alibi i could think of is that, i got terrible migraine.

migraine + colds = puffy eyes.

okay–i was crying because a sad reality dawned on me.

but that, i’m afraid, i couldn’t blog about.

sometimes even the tiger cowers in fear.

sorry.

————————-

on the lighter side:

last night i bought shawarma for dinner. 

i’ve always wanted to try the ones sold in the shawarma strip in buendia.

so last night i braved my fear of tummy trouble and bought one.

big.  with cheese.

mr. shawarma seemed nice.  and hygienic because he was wearing a hair net and plastic gloves.

he’s always smiling.

so i smiled back.  hoping he’d fill my pita with lots of beef.

one, two, three!

stop!

he just filled my pita with lots and lots and lots of onions!

mea culpa. 

’sorry–can you remove those please?’

‘ay ayaw mo ma’am?’

‘i don’t like onions that much–sorry.’

‘nyay!  ‘kala ko bumbay ka ma’am!’

i’m no shawarma beauty.