beep!

7am - no ‘good morning’…8,9,10,11,12pm - where’s the usual ‘have your lunch now, will have mine at the lobby lounge’? 

1,2,3,4,5,6pm - isn’t he gonna check whether i’ve had dinner already?

7,8,9,10,11…itchy fingers…flexed to text.  NO. i shouldn’t. i won’t. NO WAY!

11:45…11:46…11:47–BEEP!

should i read it?

left brain: yippeeeeeeeeeee! he texted! he texted! he texted!

right brain:  no! NO! no…uhh, alright! read it!

read it.  i won–he lost. i’m happy…?

@>————–

okay, so i lasted 1,2,3…almost 24 hours NOT texting him. and i endured 1,2,3…23 hours of him NOT texting me. BIG DEAL!

past twelve midnight–

me: ok, i knew it–should’ve seen this coming! i hate this!

him:  stupidus maximus? i’m on live online e-symposium on IT governance in my office. overnight session because it’s daytime in U.S. and Europe. done by 5am tomorrow…yada yada yada yada…goodnight.  you better sleep now.

it took me an hour and a half to close my eyes.  two more to actually fall asleep.

i guess i’m fine. 

thanks, miranda

"It’s a slippery slope, Carrie. Without boundaries you never know what might happen." Miranda 

i slipped…

but something kept me from falling

something pulled me back

now i’m back

and i wouldn’t dare lose the grip again.

i love u, habi.

tale of the pants

friday.  as usual, habi fetched me from work.  we didn’t have plans on where to go and what to do–i wasn’t in the mood to dine out and drink so i decided that we just go home and i offered to cook him dinner. we got off at sm to buy whatever he fancies for supper.  before we went to the supermarket he asked me if we could check out new pants from levi’s so off to the levi’s rack we went.  he saw this 514 pair that he’s been eyeing for weeks.  he said he’s a bit apprehensive because it might not look good on him–so i had him try it on.  my man looked sexy in it! so i told him to buy the pair right away, and buy it he did.

after paying the pants, he told me a secret–he said he actually tried it on earlier at glorietta but he couldn’t decide whether to buy it or not without consulting me first! awwwwwwww!  that was sweet! i gave my man a peck on the cheek and smiled. 

i asked him what he wants for dinner–he said he wanted squid but later on we settled for prawns.  we headed home with arms entwined.

he and i have a lifetime ahead together.   :)

caught in the ‘meantime’

IT WAS ALL IN THE PAST…

but it wouldn’t hurt to finally define what i had wanted to define long ago…

finally the definition i long sought.  he and i, defined at last.  he WAS my meantime guy, i, his meantime girl…

we were once caught in the ‘meantime’. we CAN’T be together in the present, we NEVER had a past…all we had was the ‘meantime’…

i WAS the girl who went with him to lunches and dinners. the girl he ASKS out whenever he feels the need to unwind.  the girl he CALLS every night. the girl he SENDS countless messages to. the  girl he MAKES privy of the goings-on in his life…

he IS the guy who genuinely cares for me, but WAS never man enough to truly love me…because he just COULDN’T–he SHOULDN’T. circumstances WOULDN’T allow him to.

and i COULDN’T love him back.  i just COULDN’T.  i’m NOT allowed to, i SHOULDN’T.

now the meantime has lapsed…i found my way back to the present.

mantra

captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND. captain hook is JUST a FRIEND.

stupidus maximus

on my way home last night i bumped into an old friend i met in ateneo back in ‘99.  after the usual exchange of pleasantries she asked me if i’m still into writing–i said yes, surprised that she actually thought i’ve had a change of heart and made a leap to another career. she then asked for my business card saying that she’s into event organizing now and she might need me to write something for a product launch she’s organizing.  so i searched my wallet for a card–there was none left! i said, ‘geez, sorry! ran out of cards! why don’t you give me yours and i’ll give you a ring?’  the charmer that she is, she smiled and pulled out one from her bag.  she gave it to me and told me to call her this morning.  we were both in a hurry so we bid each other goodbye and went our separate ways.

this morning, i searched my bag for her card–it was nowhere to be found! i searched the pants i wore yesterday–not there!  i was getting frantic–i squeezed my head for a tell-tale sign that i’ve lost it last night–and there it was, glimmering from my inner pensieve, aptly labeled: STUPIDUS MAXIMUS! 

—me walking towards jollibee.  me lining up for coffee jelly to go.  me telling the cashier my order.  me pulling a hundred peso bill from my wallet.  me getting my order.  me staring at the receipt.  me placing the change in my wallet. me crumpling the receipt–me crumpling something which looks like an ecru colored rectangular piece of———business card!!!—

back to reality. i lost the card. i reached for my phone and tried to find kami’s number–maybe i still have her mobile no. on my phonebook.  it wasn’t there. darn!  i could have been writing a script now instead of blogging.  i heard something popped! out the window flew my pea-size brain. 

haha!

i’m so bored i’m about to die! until i got this message from "he-who-must-not-be-named": 

"see me so i can bore you differently!"

hahaha!

i replied:

"i know exactly what kind of ‘boring’ you’re talking about!"

he texted back:

"i love the way you think. :)"

well, i’m still bored but i’m smiling now! :)

crab date

I never liked crabs. One, I hate the tedious task of shelling it before eating it.  Two, I hate its smell.  Three, eating crabs is messy…and I hate getting my fingers dirty. 

So, when somebody asked me to a crab date—this happened lightyears ago–I naturally thought to myself, no way.  But the guy who asked me out has been relentless—he presented me with two options—either we’ll have crabs for dinner or the date is off.  I would have chosen the latter but the guy we’re talking about here is someone I have the hots for.  So, crabs it is.

The crab expert that he is, my date asked for ‘alimangong bakla’—apparently even crabs have gender—lalake, babae, bading—he never mentioned a dyke though.  As per him, gay crabs are more ‘malaman’ and ‘mataba’—which is good because I personally like the ‘aligue’ and only the ‘fat’ ones have that.  But to his dismay, the restaurant have run out of ‘badings’ so he settled for a lady crab.

Since I am more of a prawn person, he let me order gambas for myself—only if I promise to eat crab too.  I reluctantly said yes on the condition that he’ll shell it for me.  So, Mr. Crabs did some shelling for both of us while I fill his plate with spicy gambas.

It was one of the most fun dinners I had.  The prawns were yummy and the crab was thumbs-up too.  And of course my date was superb—he was the perfect gentleman and by the fourth spoonful, he had me swooning at him already.      

Looking back, that crab date would go down on my list as one of the best dates I’ve ever had–a sumptuously filling dinner with a very attentive and intellectually stimulating crab lover capped with a tall glass of my fave white chocolate dream from coffee bean and of course, how could I forget—the long lingering kiss that ended that one truly romantic crab night. J

(Oh—we had breath freshener in handy after dinner.) 

:)

chatted with someone yesterday.  i was surprised to know that somebody’s actually reading my blog! :)  so i guess that person’s becoming privy to my feelings and is actually getting in on my thoughts!  well, the fact that i’ve been ranting about almost every facet of my life and writing about even the most trivial happening in my oh-so-boring existence here, means i’ve no right to complain if someone’s actually taking time to devour what i’ve been scribbling.

i just hope he wasn’t serious about the whole ‘it’s-become-a-ritual-i’m-actually-letting-my-staff-read-it-aloud’ thing! gosh! it’s such a shame!  the reason why i couldn’t muster enough courage totry my hand in writing something that could see print and be read by people other than my faithful denizens is because i fear that my writings would bore them to death!

perhaps my now ‘avid reader’ has a death wish–to die yawning as he reads my posts. i certainly DON’T find my own posts entertaining to say the least–it’s not as intellectually palpable as the gospel of judas, right? doesn’t even come close!it’s actually just a piece of random crap my oh-so-random thought factory spews out once in a while.

but if this collection of random crap could make him smile, read on!

random peeves

i’m starting to hate queen bee.  she isn’t doing anything to me but the way she treats the people that matter to me and habi makes me lose my cool. the indifference, the way she alienates her knight from the royal family–gosh!  and to top it all she doesn’t even seem to know how to show appreciation for the little things that the ‘royal couple’ do for her!  i think she actually expects them to serve her and treat her like a queeen! she’s getting into my nerves!

@>——–

cab scene this morning.

me:  mama, cityland pasong tamo po…

cab driver: ha? saan ba ‘yon?

me:  sa may don bosco po.

cab driver:  sige ituro mo na lang…

when we approched the intersection of U.N. and san marcelino–

me:  diretso na po kasi minsan di naman heavy ang traffic d’yan

cab driver:  hindi, kaliwa na ‘ko kasi ma-traffic sa quirino

me:  okay po

when we reached plaza dilao traffic was heavy!

me:  sana po sa kabila na lang tayo dumaan…pag ganito’ng oras po kasi marami na truck-

cab driver:  hindi ‘yan mas ma-traffic sa kabila!

when we turned left to osmena highway i saw how light the opposite lane was!  we sailed through the highway until we reached the bottom of the buendia flyover…

cab driver:  magallanes na tayo!

me:  sana po sa baba na lang, dela rosa na lang po kasi konti lang po ang sasakyan

he didn’t listen to me and sped away! when we reached the u-turn slot in magallanes, traffic was already terrible! i didn’t say anything.  when we reached my destination the meter reads 102.50. 

i pulled out a hundred and ten and gave it to him.

cab driver:  dagdagan mo naman puro traffic dinaanan natin!

i stepped out of the cab and gave him dagger looks!  what a ride it has been!

@>——–